1
00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:55,430
son. Which one of you guys are really my
dad?

2
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:56,790
I am.

3
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:03,690
There's something fishy about this, and
I want the lowdown.

4
00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:07,270
Now come clean. Where did I come from?

5
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,570
Well, you see, son, it was like this. It
happened several years ago.

6
00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:14,170
You were a neency, peency, teensy,
weensy, schmeensy, uh...

7
00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:24,210
What's the idea? I was just about to
play coming through the corn.

8
00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:27,410
You mean rye. The way I play it, it's
corn.

9
00:01:27,650 --> 00:01:30,110
Break it up. How much money did you loan
on this junk?

10
00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:32,490
Cheap, $50. That's a genuine
stratosphere.

11
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,250
Stratosphere? Yeah.

12
00:01:34,410 --> 00:01:35,410
Play some air.

13
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,639
Isn't that beautiful?

14
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,380
That's the old oaken bucket I'm playing.

15
00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:57,640
Hmm. Sounds like it. Yeah.

16
00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:03,240
Where'd the water come from? From the
old oaken bucket.

17
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:10,840
And you, maestro, you get over there and
play that bull fiddle. And no old oaken

18
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,520
bucket. Why, certainly, certainly.

19
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:15,220
You ain't heard nothing yet.

20
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,640
That's funny. I ain't heard nothing yet
either.

21
00:02:24,850 --> 00:02:25,850
Yeah.

22
00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:29,230
Another stratosphere you bought.

23
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,630
That's a fine way to throw our money
away.

24
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:35,590
Don't you look at merchandise before you
hand it out? You nitwit, I'll bash your

25
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:36,590
brains out.

26
00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:40,830
I'm sorry, sir. These two bullies were
attacking me with poison gas.

27
00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:45,450
Say, that's the guy that sold me this
fake wool fiddle. You're dreaming, bub.

28
00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:48,910
I'm Butch McGee, president of the Gas
House Protective Association.

29
00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:53,230
You're new around here, ain't you? Yeah,
we just inherited this place from our

30
00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:54,049
Uncle Tom.

31
00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:58,110
Good. That'll be 25 berries a week or...
Or what?

32
00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,810
Pineapples with TNT.

33
00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:07,850
Millions for defense, but not one cent
for tribute. And we're pretty tough

34
00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:12,530
ourselves. Watch this, shorty. They call
me Mickey Moe, the murdering masseur.

35
00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:14,030
I'll show you some mayhem.

36
00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:28,190
Good work, Ma.

37
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:29,870
Boy, he's tough.

38
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:33,330
Ah, that's baby stuff. Let me show you
the real McCoy.

39
00:03:36,190 --> 00:03:42,870
I was just

40
00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:44,950
toying. You better come across with the
dough.

41
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:46,250
No, I'm mad.

42
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:47,510
So what?

43
00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:48,950
So I ain't that mad.

44
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,410
You wait here. I'll really get mad.

45
00:03:56,060 --> 00:03:57,060
Watch me.

46
00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:29,390
us, will you? Well, we'll show you.

47
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,090
You're in the wrong alley here.

48
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,290
Up he goes.

49
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:34,810
There's your old hat. It don't fit me
anyway.

50
00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:36,430
Yeah. Open your mouth.

51
00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,690
There you are. Nice little baby now,
huh?

52
00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:39,970
Real tough boy.

53
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:42,750
You're not so tough, little baby.

54
00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:44,770
Here's your 25 berries.

55
00:04:49,710 --> 00:04:50,710
Hey, Butch.

56
00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:54,930
What are you doing here? The cops are on
our trail, Butch. Yeah?

57
00:04:55,610 --> 00:04:56,810
Say, what's the idea of the kid?

58
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,620
That's my sister's kid. I figured the
cops would never look for Molly, the

59
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:02,340
glamour girl with a baby in her arms.

60
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,000
It worked.

61
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,159
Smart gal.

62
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,540
But we can't take it on the lam looking
a baby around.

63
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,280
You better return it to your sister. I
don't dare go back.

64
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,560
The cops are watching the house. They
nab a sure.

65
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:13,880
Yeah, that's right.

66
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,300
I got it. Take the kid over to that hock
shop and leave it with them saps.

67
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,640
Your sister can pick it up later. We'll
mail her the pawn ticket.

68
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:22,920
Swell idea.

69
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:25,100
As long as I'm there, I might as well.

70
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:26,830
Hock, my diamond ring.

71
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:30,550
Yeah, them lunkheads are liable to fall
for that hunk of glass.

72
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:32,650
I'll meet you at Joe's.

73
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,150
Hurry up, baby.

74
00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:41,470
Hey, Larry, come here.

75
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,090
I can't. I'm busy.

76
00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:45,230
Well, drop what you're doing and come
here.

77
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:48,470
Okay, if you say so.

78
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:53,490
Yeah? What's the big idea?

79
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,320
You told me to drop what I was doing, so
I did.

80
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,560
Why, you.

81
00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:59,720
Beat me to it that time.

82
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:01,960
Get out.

83
00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:03,580
Curly and I are going to lunch.

84
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,760
Don't lend any money on anything till we
get back.

85
00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,420
Here, hang up this tuba.

86
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:08,920
Come on, Curly.

87
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,800
How do you do, madam? What can I do for
you?

88
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,340
Oh, an offspring.

89
00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:37,660
That's sweet.

90
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,960
What's the trouble, lady?

91
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:03,080
He left me. My no -good husband left me.
Me and little Egbert without a home,

92
00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:04,059
without a sin.

93
00:07:04,060 --> 00:07:07,300
All I have in the world is a 20 -carat
diamond ring.

94
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,680
Could you let me have a hundred on it?

95
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,920
Even his ring was a fake.

96
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,140
Stop phoning.

97
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,640
What's the matter?

98
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,900
Please give me a drink. Sure.

99
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,610
Shouldn't be a total loss. I'll drink it
myself.

100
00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:56,410
Tastes terrible.

101
00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:58,350
I'll kill it with a cigarette.

102
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,030
Oh, gosh.

103
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,170
Firewater. Well, what do you know?

104
00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:13,830
Oh, you sweet you.

105
00:08:17,050 --> 00:08:20,030
I give to give to give. I give to give
to you.

106
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:29,370
Oh, you cute thing. Let me tell you a
bedtime story.

107
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,850
Let me see. Once upon a time, there were
three bears.

108
00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:38,169
Max Bear, Bunny Bear, and Bugs Bear. Now
bear in mind.

109
00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:43,580
These bears were never bare because they
ran around in their baskets, but with

110
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:44,580
their bare feet.

111
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:50,700
So the three little bears went skipping
and frolicking, hither, tither, and

112
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,000
yither, without their mither and fither.

113
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,800
Skip, skip, skip, skip.

114
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,040
Pardon me, gentlemen.

115
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,260
How'd that baby get here?

116
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,520
Business as usual.

117
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:07,040
What? I mean, the kid walked in and
asked for a match. I said, I don't

118
00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,010
Look, it's cute.

119
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:14,190
What's the matter with you? How dare you
strike a mother with an infant in his

120
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:17,290
arms? Where is that kid's mother? The
bag left me holding the babe.

121
00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:19,310
What are we going to do with it?

122
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:22,750
Keep it for 30 days. If nobody calls for
it, it's yours.

123
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,330
Get the kid a bottle.

124
00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:27,329
A bottle?

125
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:30,250
Oh, a bottle, yeah. Excuse me. Hurry up,
we'll take care of it till you get

126
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:32,110
back. What do you do in case it cries?

127
00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:34,970
We'll just change its position from one
side to the other.

128
00:09:36,050 --> 00:09:37,090
You would think of that.

129
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:45,580
Don't cry, baby. Don't cry. Look at him.
Funny face.

130
00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:46,860
Funny face.

131
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,780
Make funny ones. Don't scare him. Funny.

132
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,080
Like this. Look.

133
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,440
Look,

134
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,100
baby. Don't cry. We're going to make
funny faces. Look.

135
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,380
Here's your bottle. Oh, swell. Got an
opener?

136
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:18,680
There ain't one around the place.

137
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,020
Well.

138
00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:23,460
Close your eyes.

139
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:24,900
Open your mouth.

140
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,520
Depress your lower jaw.

141
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:34,600
Wait a minute. You can't give a baby
beer.

142
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,920
But I can give the bottle when I'm
through drinking it.

143
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,280
Yeah, the beer's mine.

144
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,680
I want half.

145
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:42,540
Give it to me. Give it to me. I want it.
Give it to me.

146
00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,800
Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to
me.

147
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:46,060
Please, please.

148
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,420
Give it to me or I'll tear your tonsils
out.

149
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,260
You got it.

150
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,380
Yeah, so I did.

151
00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:57,640
And you're going to get it.

152
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,440
Get out.

153
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:01,880
Why,

154
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,080
you nitwit.

155
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:04,500
And you.

156
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,339
That kid crying.

157
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,860
What are we going to do with it? I can't
stand it. It'll drive me nuts. I got

158
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:24,340
it. Lock the baby in the safe and you
won't hear it. Good, but... Hey,

159
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,820
fellas. Look, I gave it a pacifier.

160
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:36,020
Two -ounce brain.

161
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,980
Look out.

162
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:39,440
The kid may pull a trigger.

163
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:42,700
Don't be silly. I wouldn't give a loaded
gun to a kid.

164
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,320
Did you examine it? Sure.

165
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,100
See?

166
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:49,790
What's the matter with you? That's
liable to go off. But it ain't loaded.

167
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:50,790
show you.

168
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:18,740
Go on, wash your ears. Go on, get washed
up.

169
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,800
That crying again. I can't take it.

170
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:16,130
Quiet, little angel. Quiet, angel.

171
00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:17,450
I'll break your neck.

172
00:13:17,910 --> 00:13:19,410
Hey, Curly, hurry up, will you?

173
00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:22,310
I'm coming in just a minute.

174
00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,870
Curly?

175
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:38,549
What's that?

176
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:39,610
The baby's bottle.

177
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,810
Now you've got a sliver of a brain.

178
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,100
Right in the little mouth. There you
are.

179
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,720
Look at the little sucker. Now he's
happy.

180
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,360
And you, you had to make nursemaids out
of us. If that kid's mother don't get

181
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,080
back soon, I'm going to turn it over to
the police.

182
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:20,140
Oh, you thought you got rid of me, eh,
wise guys?

183
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,180
Okay, boys, give him the works.

184
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,940
Come here, you. You're just my size.

185
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,600
You see, the police came and took them
away, but nobody ever...